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Job Interview Gone Wrong

I had probably one of the worst interviews I’ve ever had today.  The one other person who has read this blog may remember that I am a freelance programmer.  I am still, however, searching for something with a little more stability.  I’m also trying to get into a job where I can try to learn more about Information Security. 

So I had applied through CareerBuilder for a job at a data center as a network engineer.  Despite being a programmer, I do have experience as a Network Admin.  Anyway, I call in at the scheduled time, meaning the time they told me to call.  I assumed it would be your basic phone interview, go over the position, go over my resume, make sure I’m not a total goon before a possible face to face.  As soon as I spoke to the receptionist, I knew things weren’t starting off well.  She said “Ok Max, I’ll transfer your call”.  That’s all good and she was nice, but my name is not Max.

My call is transferred and I’m hoping the person I’m interviewing with will realize who is calling since we had an appointment and everything.  Yea, not so much.  As soon as he answered he started saying how happy he was that I called, thinks I’d be a good fit for the position, was surprised I called so soon.  I’m thinking “awesome, but why is he surprised I called”.  Turns out, someone named Max had sent in a resume, with what I can only assume were great credentials. 

We got the whole “who I was” thing cleared up pretty easily, although now I wasn’t feeling so great about my prospects.  I think I may have broken his heart as well, not being Max and all.  I hear him shuffle some things around, looking for my resume in his trash I presume.  I should note that when I’m on the phone I have this annoying habit of always being on the move, I’m not sure why.  So I was pacing around, trying to think of where to apply next when I feel a sharp pain on my shin.

I look down and notice my cat has decided to pick now to turn my shin into her chew toy/scratching post.  I make a few moves, nfl scouts would’ve been impressed, and get away from her as she’s distracting me from making an ass out of myself during this interview.  So now that the guy I’m interviewing with has my resume out, we start talking, he’s telling me about what the job entails, do I think I could do it,  etc.  All of a sudden I hear a loud screech (powers).  My interviewer asks if everything is ok, I say yes and explain it was just my cat trying to get my attention.  Then she does it again, this time she’s almost eye level with me and about 6 inches from my face since she jumped up onto a shelf.  I give her an “are you f’n serious?” look and then a few treats and she’s on her way.  Once again assure the guy everything is ok. 

R.B. doing her thing was just a minor annoyance, not really a big deal if it was the only weird thing that happened during this interview.  After that I decided to ask a few general questions about the job and the what it was like working there, basically hoping to get to a topic where I could show that I was not in fact a complete moron.  That’s when I hear the interviewer say “Oh this is interesting”.  I was trying to think of what could be interesting with my resume, maybe I had a skill they were looking for or something, instead it went like this:

Interviewer: “So tell me about your felony”

Me: *crickets*

**At this point I was trying to go through my past, figure out if I was ever even charged with a felony.  I was sure I was not.  Kind of sad  I had to even give it a thought, I’m sure the pause didn’t help my cause but at least I can rhyme!**

Me: “What do you mean?”

Interviewer:  “You checked the box that said you were convicted of a felony, now that won’t disqualify you but I would like to know what it is” *not verbatim but that was basically what he said

Me:  “Oh that must have been a mistake, I have never been convicted of a felony, I’m almost positive”

Almost positive, even I couldn’t believe how stupid I was.

Interviewer:  “So you’re not sure?!?”

Me:  “I’m sure, I never have, you can do a background check if you like”

Interviewer:  “Ok”

After that fantastic verbal meltdown by me, he basically just verified my contact information, probably to make sure to block me regardless of how I tried to contact them.  He told me he would call or e-mail me if they’d like to bring me in for a face to face interview.  Needless to say, I won’t be sitting here on the edge of my seat waiting for either.  The lesson here would be, always proofread your resume!  It seems it would be common sense to make sure that you didn’t misspell anything or perhaps claim to be a felon if you’re not, sadly this was not the case for me.

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